Good, descriptive, constructive feedback: I love how the lightning strike at the beginning of your narrative grabs the readers attention., I think you could be a little more specific in terms of saying where the story takes in place, instead of just the United States., Can you mention Quinn earlier in the story? I was not sure who they were until the middle of the story., Could you explain some of the events in the middle of your story a little more, so they are more clear for the reader., What is the climax of your story? You might need to add a little bit more detail to make this more clear., I love the ending of your story and how it leaves me wondering what adventure Quinn is going to go on next. , I like how the main idea of your story is that sometimes things go wrong before they go right., I think you need some more details in the middle of your story around the climax to make things more clear., I think you could use some more details and descriptive language when describing the setting of the story., Your story moves very fast, especially the middle. You might want to add some more details to draw it out a little bit., The word "lightning" was spelt incorrectly., Split your story into several paragraphs to break it up a little bit. , Feedback that we could improve: Good lightning strike at the beginning., The United States?, Who is the character named Quinn?, The middle of your story was confusing, I don't think your narrative has a climax, I would have written the ending of your narrative differently.., Good main idea., You need more details., The story could use more detail., This was a really short story., You spelt that word wrong., You only have 1 big paragraph.,

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