minimal encouragement - Sounds made, especially on the phone, to let one person know the other is there and listening. Such as, “Oh?”, “When?”, and “Really?” They are comments or sounds that let the speaker know you are listening., paraphrase - A summary in your own words of what you were told. Demonstrates listening, creates empathy and establishes rapport because it is evident that you have heard and understood. Usually, paraphrasing begins with the words, “So, what you’re saying is…”., emotional labelling - This is often the first active listening skill to be used in a crisis. It is important to be attuned to the emotion behind the words and facts. Common phrases for you to use are, “You sound…”, “You seem…” , “I hear…” (emotion heard by you). You do not tell people how they are feeling, but how they sound to you as if they are feeling. Do not be concerned about making a mistake in labelling emotions. The subject will correct you and will often appear grateful for the attempt., echoing - This is the technique of repeating the last word or phrase. This provides very exact responses because you are using the subject’s own words. Reflecting or mirroring asks for more input without guiding the direction of the subject’s thoughts and elicits information when you do not have enough to ask a pertinent question. It is useful when you are at a loss for words and it provides an opportunity for the subject to think about what you have said. A “I was late for because I forgot to set my alarm.” B “Set your alarm…”., open-ended questions - The primary use of open-ended questions is to help a subject start talking. Asking open-ended questions encourages the person to say more without actually directing the conversation. They are questions that cannot be answered with a single word such as “yes” or “no”. Open-ended questions get information for you with fewer questions, those that usually begin with how, what, when and where. Note that “why” questions are not asked directly. “Why” questions tend to steer the conversation toward blame and shut down communication. “Why” questions also tend to pass judgment., 'I' messages - These messages enable listeners to let the subject know how he is making you feel, why you feel that way, and what the subject can do to remedy the situation. This is a non-threatening approach and does not put the subject on the defensive. “I” messages are used when communication is difficult because of the intense emotions being directed at you. It is also used when the subject is trying to manipulate you and you want him to stop the attempts. Negotiators also use this technique to refocus the subject and when they are verbally attacked. For example: “I feel…when you…because…”., effective pausing - Silence can be very effective on several levels. Most people are not comfortable with silence and will fill it with talk. It is to your advantage to keep the subject talking. Silence can also be used to emphasize a point. You can use silence just before or just after saying something important.,

Active Listening

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