Passive : BELIEFS: Others’ needs are more important than yours. They have rights – you don’t. Their contributions are valuable – yours are worthless., EMOTIONS: Fear of rejection, helplessness, frustration. Resentment towards others who use you., GOALS: Avoid conflict. Give others control over you. Please others at any expense to yourself., Aggressive: BELIEFS: Your needs are more important and more justified than theirs. You have rights, they don’t. Your contributions are valuable. Theirs are silly, wrong or worthless., EMOTIONS: Angry or powerful at the time and victorious when you win. Feelings of remorse, guilt and self-hatred for hurting others., GOALS: Win at any expense to others. Gain control over others., Manipulative: BELIEFS: You are entitled to get your own way, even after making commitments to others. You are not responsible for your actions., EMOTIONS: Fear that you would be rejected if you were more assertive. Resentment at the demands of others. Fear of being confronted., GOALS: Get your own way without taking responsibility. , Assertive: BELIEFS: Your needs and those of others are equally important. You have equal rights to express yourselves. You both have something valuable to contribute. You are responsible for your behaviour., EMOTIONS: You feel positive about yourself and the way you treat others. Self-esteem rises., GOALS: Both you and others keep self-respect. Express yourself without having to win all the time. No one controls anyone else.,

Assertiveness Characteristics

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