No one is entirely rational when it comes to money. We don’t create and follow a budget or save something every ____ though we believe it would be in our best ____. We know we need a financial plan but put ____ the work involved; somehow it never happens. We spend too much out of recklessness or ____, or too little out of guilt. Our money behavior often causes shame… The most important emotions in relation to money are fear, guilt, shame and ____. It’s worth spending some effort to become ____ of the emotions that are especially tied to money for you because, without awareness, they will tend to ____ rational thinking and drive your actions. What’s there to be afraid of? The possibilities are as varied as there are individual stories. But common fears include the fear of not having enough, the fear of looking stupid, the fear of provoking envy and the fear of being exposed or ____. Guilt and ____ are not the same emotion. Guilt has to do with feeling bad about a negative impact you’ve had on others, while shame is a feeling evoked when you let yourself down or don't ____ up to your own sense of what’s right. You might feel guilty because you have more than your friends, or you haven’t been particularly ____, or you’ve had money come too easily. Shame is one of the most common and powerful emotions associated with money and personal finance. It is a ____ reason people avoid doing what they know they should. It's natural to want to avoid exposure in relation to something you're ashamed about. Here are just some of the possible versions of ____ feelings related to money: > I don’t have enough money. > I’ve avoided thinking about finances. > I’ve avoided doing what I’m supposed to do about finances (creating a safety ____, planning for retirement, ____ budgeting). > I’m really ignorant about all of this. > I spend too much. > I buy stuff when I’m unhappy. Shame interacts with avoidance to create a vicious ____. When you’re filled with shame the natural tendency is to avoid facing whatever is making you uncomfortable. That avoidance itself leads to additional shame and more ____. Next thing you know your taxes are overdue and it’s six years since you decided to finally make that appointment to see a financial planner and it still hasn't happened. People who avoid tackling financial ____ often label themselves a procrastinator and ____ they are just lazy or undisciplined…. Here’s how it ____. You’re thinking about sitting down and taking a hard look at your financial situation and creating a realistic financial plan. But just thinking about it makes your anxiety level rise, because you’re afraid you will not be able to face the reality that, for example, you have nowhere near enough saved for your kids’ education. That anxiety leads to avoidance. You postpone the task and distract yourself. At that moment, your anxiety level immediately drops, giving you positive ____ for avoidance. You repeat this cycle over and over. But each immediate drop in anxiety doesn’t quite bring you back to the previous ____ level of distress. And over time, your overall level of anxiety increases and increases. Contrast this pattern with ____ the dreaded task. As you face the facts, your anxiety temporarily increases. If you stay with it, however, the overall level of anxiety will ____ decline. You have to tolerate that short-term increase in ____ to benefit from the long term decrease in anxiety. In the end, the lesson is reality is always your friend. ------- How to harness money emotions Emotion isn’t all bad…The key is self-awareness. Much of our emotional world is ____. But it’s not that hard to access if you know what to look for and have a ____ for the kinds of emotions and family stories that can influence your personal relationship with money.

Speaking Finance

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