Nowdays, a big amount of people feel the urban enviroments are more unheathy than before. - Nowadays, many people hold the belief that urban environments are less healthy than they used to be., It is widely argued that someone who living in the urban environments is possibly get a worse healthy condition compared to the others who don't live in the same place. - It is widely felt that someone who is living in an urban environment may experience worse health conditions compared to someone who does not., Considering the increasing of cities, a considerable portion of the society believes that... - Considering the (expansion of and) increase in the number of cities, a significant proportion of society believe that..., Intro= Paraphrase + ______?_________ - Intro= Paraphrase + Thesis: This essay will describe the major cause of this issue, overpopulation, and suggest a possible solution., ...we need to try to work on reducing pollution in our planet, otherwise we won't have a healthy place to wher to life. - ..., and we need to work on reducing pollution on our planet; otherwise, we will not have a healthy place to live., But one that stands out from the rest and it's not good is, the unhealthy state of urban environments. - However, one serious issue that stands out from the rest is the unhealthy state of urban environments., Full-filled transportation by people makes people very annoying Generally, people go to their school or job at the same time There is the most crowded time. - Generally, people go to school or work at the same time, which is the most crowded time. As a result, overcrowded transportation can make people very annoyed. , BODY 1 Topic Sentence: Lately, technology has been one of the most relevant development around the world giving some advantages and disadvantages to society. - The examiner thinks- "Is this essay question about the advantages and disadvantages of technology in society?" Examiners will skim an IELTS essay to see if there is a thesis and relevant topic sentences for each paragraph, relating to the task. A suitable option may be: "To begin with, one major cause of the unhealthy state of urban areas is________.", In conclusion, the destruction is not easily to recover despite the fact that there are among of people tried to do something helpful for the environment.. - Despite the fact many people try to do something helpful for the environment, destruction is not easy to recover from., which leads to..., and large amount of enormous building all over the city which makes us feel less relieved and nervous. - This point is easy to knock down. Try: which leads to..., and numerous tall buildings all over cities, which could make us feel closed in or suffocated.,
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Writing Task Practice: Cause/Solution Essay Error Correction
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