1. Finding things in common - There’s no doubt that we like people who are like us. In other words, if we can identify with them and understand them as people, not just business machines, we’re much more likely to want to do business with them. In practical terms, there are two sides to this technique: one is to ask questions to find out about the other person. But just as importantly, we need to be open about ourselves, to help the other person to understand us too., 2. Showing an interest - When the other person is talking about himself/herself, we need to listen carefully and show that we are listening. This means not just making ‘listening noises’ like ‘I see’ and ‘Really?’, but actually being interested in the other person. Remember what they are telling you, so you can bring it up next time you meet (e.g. How’s your daughter getting on at university?)., 3. Generosity - Research has shown that if you give something to another person, they almost always feel obliged to return the favour… or even a much bigger favour. Of course, there’s a limit: you can’t be too cynical and expect someone to knock 10% off their asking price just because you’ve bought them a nice coffee. But a little genuine kindness can go a long way., 4. Gratitude - Whenever the other person is kind to you, always make sure you say thank-you. It may seem like a tiny detail, and perhaps an obvious one, but in fact it can make all the difference. Just imagine how you’d feel if someone failed to thank you for your own kindness! And when you say thank-you, don’t just say ‘thank-you’. Tell them how kind they’ve been and how much you appreciate it., 5. Flattery - Say nice things about the other person or their organisation. If that person bought you a meal, tell a third person how nice the meal was and how much you enjoyed the conversation. If you’ve just arrived in their office, say how nice it is. If you notice a diploma on the wall, ask about it and make sure you sound impressed when they tell you. But whatever you do, make sure you sound convincing – there’s nothing worse than false enthusiasm!, 6. Personal touches - This can go both ways. Firstly, show that you’re treating the other person as an individual, someone special. That means remembering their name, and maybe organising something based on the likes and dislikes they’ve expressed. Secondly, show that they’re dealing with you as a person, not just your organisation. If you’re taking them to your favourite restaurant, make sure they understand that it’s not just an anonymous place to eat, but something that you’ve chosen personally, which says something about who you are.,

Relationship-building techniques

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