“He has no enemies, - but is intensely disliked by his friends”, “Her trouble is that she lacks the power of conversation, - but not the power of speech”, “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts - – for support rather than illumination”, “Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat, - she puts mayonnaise on her aspirins”, “I married beneath me. - All women do”, “Being a woman is a terribly difficult business, - as it consists principally of dealing with men”, “The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm - was when the judge signed the divorce papers”, “Sir, you are drunk.” - “Indeed, madam, and you are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning”, If I were married to you, I would put poison in your coffee. - If I were married to you - I'd drink it.,

Classic Insults

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