over-functioning—the belief that if you don't do it all, it will fail., Practice "Good Enough" exposure. Assign your spouse one task with a "low stakes" outcome (e.g., choosing the rehearsal dinner napkins). You are retraining your amygdala to understand that a "wrong" choice by a partner is not a survival threat., Reframing for In-Law Conflict, Ruminating on your spouse’s control in the situation keeps you in a state of high cortisol. Use Self-Distancing. Instead of "He isn't protecting me," try "He is navigating a complex lifelong system, and we are learning to set boundaries together." Schedule a 15-minute "State of the Union" specifically for in-law boundaries so these thoughts don't leak into your entire day., The "Freeze" State: When you feel sad and irritable, your instinct is to isolate (hypoarousal)., The Skill: Opposite Action (DBT). If your urge is to hide, commit to 10 minutes of social interaction or a brief walk in a public space. It sends a signal to your nervous system that the environment is safe, gently pulling you out of the "shutdown" mode., "Future Self" Anchor: Separate the Process (the wedding/in-laws) from the Person (your spouse)., Write down three reasons you chose this person, independent of their family. If the bond with in-laws is zero, remember that a marriage is a new nuclear family, not just an extension of an old one., When working non-stop, "quality time" feels like an impossible luxury, which breeds resentment., Stop waiting for a "day off" to connect. Use "micro-doses" of connection to prevent the "build-up" from exploding. The 6-Second Hug. Research by the Gottman Institute suggests a 6-second hug or a 2-minute "stress-reducing conversation" can physiologically lower stress levels., Self-effacing jokes, Self-Compassion Pauses. When you catch a negative thought, ask: "Would I speak to my best friend this way a week before her wedding?" cknowledge the pain ("This is really hard right now") and validate the effort ("I am doing the work of three people")..

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