What has ears but cannot hear?, A cornfield, Why don’t skeletons fight each other?, They don’t have the guts, What gets wetter the more it dries?, A towel, Why was the math book sad?, It had too many problems, What has a neck but no head?, A bottle, Why did the scarecrow win an award?, Because he was outstanding in his field, What comes down but never goes up?, Rain, What has one eye but can’t see?, A needle, Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?, In case he got a hole in one, What is orange and sounds like a parrot?, A carrot, Why did the chicken cross the playground?, To get to the other slide, What kind of tree fits in your hand?, A palm tree, Why did the bicycle fall over?, It was two tired, What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?, Nacho cheese, What has hands but can’t clap?, A clock, Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?, Because then it would be a foot, What do you call a fake noodle?, An impasta, Why did the computer go to the doctor?, It caught a virus, What do you call a bear with no teeth?, A gummy bear, Why are ghosts bad at lying?, Because you can see right through them, What do you call a cow with no legs?, Ground beef, Why don’t eggs tell jokes?, They might crack up, What did the big flower say to the little flower?, Hey, bud!, Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?, They have no-body to go with, What has a bed but never sleeps?, A river, Why don’t oysters share their pearls?, Because they’re shellfish, What do you call a fish without eyes?, Fsh, Why did the tomato turn red?, Because it saw the salad dressing, What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?, Frostbite, Why did the stadium get hot after the game?, All the fans left.
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