My mum always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. - But look at me now! I’m saving the world!, What’s the difference between Covid-19 and Romeo and Juliet? - One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis!, Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, - “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”, Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? - It’s a long story..., What’s the best way to avoid touching your face? - A glass of wine in each hand!, I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. - The Times are rough!, If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? - There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens!, What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch?  - Mac and sneeze!, They said a mask and gloves was enough to go to the grocery store. - When I got there, everyone else had clothes on., What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? - The wurst-kase scenario., What does eating raw garlic have to do with preventing COVID-19? - It helps keep everyone at a safe distance., What did the barista call her face mask? - A coughy filter., Why hasn’t anyone in Antarctica contracted COVID-19? - They’re so ice-o-lated.,

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